Having lived abroad before, I have a theory about native/foreigner interactions. I believe that the more a foreigner gets enjoyment out of something, the more the natives experience misery.

For instance, have a look at this photo, taken this past weekend in the Aconcagua Valley:

DSCN2772

At first you probably just noticed the grinning gringa on the horse because she’s so ridiculously good-looking. But, please, if you can tear your eyes away from her mid-cackle gape, I invite you to pan your gaze to the right. “Hmm,” you begin to notice. “That Chilean caballero looks awfully nettled…”

And, indeed, he was. When I asked him how old the horse was he mumbled, “Eight,” and the refused to acknowledge my presence for the entire rest of the maybe 10-minute ride. Awkwardo!

Anyway, in honor of this little theory as well as not to let the dichotomous looks on both mine and the Chilean’s face go to waste, I’ve created a new ratings system upon which I will base all subsequent reviews of stuff on this blog.

Ahem, so without further ado, allow me to present Grinning Gringas vs. Nettled Natives — A Scale Based on Non-Scientific Fact.

GRINNING GRINGAS

If something is awesome/good/tight, it will fall into one of four GG categories:

DSCN2772_2 = I can get down with this.

DSCN2772_2DSCN2772_2 = I would make out with this drunk.

DSCN2772_2DSCN2772_2DSCN2772_2 = I would make out with this sober.

DSCN2772_2DSCN2772_2DSCN2772_2DSCN2772_2 = I would risk getting Kate Gosslyn’s stomach (pre-stapling) to have this thing’s babies.

NETTLED NATIVES

Likewise, if something is annoying/bad/completely ridiculous, it will be filed under the following:

DSCN2772_2_2 = I’m mildly annoyed.

DSCN2772_2_2 DSCN2772_2_2 = I’m annoyed and angry.

DSCN2772_2_2DSCN2772_2_2DSCN2772_2_2 = I kind of want to punch this in the face.

DSCN2772_2_2DSCN2772_2_2DSCN2772_2_2DSCN2772_2_2 = I’m probably in prison for acting erratically, so let me know if you know a reliable Spanish-speaking bondsman. Thx.

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