So, turns out when you’re traveling alone, you have A LOT of time on your hands. Now, with this time, you can either think about how weinly you are until it drives you damn near insane, or you can just download copious amounts of American television programs from the Internet and spend your time wondering why you didn’t think of that.
My case in point? FlashForward. Am I the only sucker who watches this show? I have no idea. Really, the television viewing habits of the average U.S. American is just one slice of First World life that I currently have no grasp on. In fact, if it wasn’t for all the excited foreigners telling me every single day how glad they are that Obama is now the President of the United States (Seriously, now I understand the Peace Prize debacle: The world loves this man more than his own country.), I probably would just assume Dick Cheney stopping plotting to shoot more people in the face and assumed the role by glamouring the American public with his sideways grin. (And yes, for some reason, this still seems possible. And yes-squared, I’ve also been watching a lot of True Blood lately.)
Anyway, back to what’s important — my television viewing habits and, in particular, this show FlashForward. For those of you who have friends and lives and don’t know the plot of this show, I’ll try to summarize here. The whole world blacked out for two minutes or so, during which time they all saw glimpses of their futures on April 10 (I think, or maybe it was March) at 10 p.m. (I think, or maybe it was 9.) But, really, the time or place isn’t that important. What’s important is that everyone in the world for some reason yet to be determined saw a drop of their futre. Or at least that’s what they think. Some people saw happy events, others sad ones and still others saw nothing at all, which everyone assumes means they’ll be dead. Whoops. Whatever the case, though, you can imagine how this kind of information could change a person’s life.
Shambles!
Now, I don’t know about you, but I’m a sucker for this kind of mind-bending, cheesy gimmicky crap and pray one day that I, too, can cash in on this kind of idea. It’s kind of like Dexter. I mean, duh! How obvious! A likable serial killer! The novel series (and, of course, the television show and/or subsequent cash-cow of a film) practically writes itself!
God, sometimes I even wish I was Dan Brown, but, you know, with writing skills. I’m sure he’ll laugh at that when he stops skinny-dipping with Tom Hanks in a McScrooge-like vault of cold, hard cash and logs on to the Interweb to read this latest blog of mine, which I’m sure, like every other cultural icon, he has bookmarked. (Hi, Dan!)
But yeah. Unfortunately, I’m just a hobo-esque, uh, hobo walking the world with my proverbial bindle that’s filled with delicious salty beans instead of ridiculously obvious ideas. Which means, in the near future, I will probably have to think about actually working again. (You know, if I haven’t rendered myself completely unemployable yet, which is a distinct possibility…)
However, as awful as “having a job” sounds (I still can’t really say it out loud), I think I’ve come up with a career for which I might actually be suited. No, not creepy Internet personality (unfortunately, although extremely suited, that job doesn’t pay), but something almost as creepy — public school teacher.
Did that Enrique Iglesias record I’m listening to right now to learn Spanish just skip?
Yeah, I realize this seems a bit out of izquierda field (thank you, Enrique), but with all the Spanish classes I’ve been taking and my hatred of office work and love of being in charge, I can’t think of a better day job than that of a teacher, and specifically, an English as a Second Language teacher.
Si, as if I was a stereotype of some television heroine on a wacky sci-fi television series, whenever I close my eyes, that is what I see myself doing in the future. Well, either that or becoming Matt Foley.
But I hope it’s the former. Not that I would mind living in a van down by the river (it sounds kind of peaceful, actually), but, you know, cheap polyester suits and 500 pounds just wouldn’t look good on me.
So what are my next steps? Not exactly sure. I’m looking at applying to some fellowships or taking advantage of “alternative certificate” programs, which it seems just about every major U.S. city has these days. But as to where I’ll go? That’s just a matter of finding a public school system crazy enough to hire me or dumb enough to trick.
I’m sure this blog post will help.
But in all honesty, I’m pretty sure I would kick ass at teaching English. Not only do I seem to know the language pretty well, but with intermediate Spanish-language skills and a couple of weeks spent living with a 5-year-old kid in Cuzco, who I’m proud to announce can now say, “This stuff is tight” (I censored it for her protection), I think I may have found my second calling. The first, of course, is to stumble upon an idea so cheesy, so gimmicky, so brilliant, that I will never have to say, “Are you hiring?” again.
So yeah, this is what television has done for me. It’s made me contemplate the future. It’s made me want to become Mr. Prezbo, but you know, without the failed cop background. (Oh indeed, as much as I love FlashForward and other cheesy sci-fi sh*t, The Wire will always be my No. 1. I love you, Omar.) Here’s to hoping my vision comes true.
[…] This post was mentioned on Twitter by noahSunshine, Marissa Payne. Marissa Payne said: BLOGGED: thinking about ripping the future a new one: https://marissapayne.wordpress.com/2009/12/10/el-futuro/ […]
Wooohooo great idea! I’ve actually been spending a lot of time lately looking into doing a TEFL course. It seems like a great way to make (some) money wherever you are. Only problem for me is that it’s not my first language, but I’m sure I can get around that.
You thinking of teaching in the US, or in Latin America?
Loved your inca trail video btw!
Hey! Check out doing it in Bogota in February! Your English seems pretty good to me, so that shouldn’t be a problem. I haven’t decided where I want to teach yet. Probably will get some experience in South America, but eventually I’d like to get back to the States and teach kids.
Colombia would be my nr 1 choice for doing the course, is that where you’re going to do it?
I don’t have enough money for it though, it’s kind of either a course, or a ticket, so I’m thinking of just doing an online one with i-to-i. I did a lot of teaching and teacher training for my psych degree, not language teaching but still useful I’d say.
Once I have taken the course I’d like to teach in Colombia or Panama…not kids though, that’s not my thing!
Hmm…where are you now? If you’re anywhere in the USA check Spirit Airlines. Tickets to Colombia are CHEAP starting about mid-January. The course is expensive, though…
New Zealand!
Oh….dang…OK. Nevermind.
Before jumping in, be sure to read this blog from a disgruntled DCPS high school teacher: http://mrteachbad.wordpress.com/
Thanks for the link. I’ll check it out…
So I’ve been watching FlashForward too.
First off I use www. tv-dome.net for movies and older tv series. Muy Awesome-o. It’s easier then downloading and far less shady.
I would say that for a lot of countries that you haven’t visited just yet…they probably have a ESL program. I had friends who went to South Korea and learned all about “Fan Death”. Something about fans, souls and closed doors?
You’ve missed Tool Academy 2. I’m sure you are saddened deep down inside.
I would hope our future/past can be summed up by one show…battlestargalactica…. I would put it on your important things to watch/do list. sounds like you have some time before you’re decide your next move.
I can’t believe I missed Tool Academy 2. I wonder what Tiny Tool is up to these days…
Hi!
I’m an ESL teacher. 🙂 I was a teacher in the US, and that’s how I meant my boyfiriend-husband-whatever, and now I’m teaching here in Brazil.
Some info for you:
1. Teaching in the US is harder than teaching in other countries.
2. If you want to teach in the US, you have these options:
(a) teaching at a private English school (you can have a BA in anything)
(b) teaching non-credit classes at community colleges (these are the free or very cheap ones for poor students)– they usually ask for a Master’s but are more flexible if you have teaching experience and a BA in English/Literature/Linguistics
(c) teaching credit classes at community colleges (these are better quality because the students are preparing for transferring to a 4-year university)– you need a Master’s in something related to English
(d) teaching remedial English at a high school in the US: You’ll need a BA and teaching credentials
To be honest, it’s not the greatest gig in the US. It’s next to impossible to get a full-time position at any one school. So the result is that you have to teach at 2 different places (usually some ab ac cb combination from the list above). I don’t know about other states, but in California, you can’t teach at 2 community colleges in the same district. So you end up driving all around the county because you’ll be at 2 schools in 2 different districts. It’s also hard to get private students because (a) you have so much competition (b) most English students are just there for a short time or, if they’re living there, their classes are free or cheap already.
To teach in high schools, you don’t always get a choice of what level of English you teach. So you might ask to teach ESL and then get snotty remedial English for native speakers. Fun subject, terrible clientele.
3. The TESL certificate classes are helpful, esp. if you have no educational experience in teaching or linguistics. Oxford has the best reputation: they have 6-12 week Saturday courses in all the big cities. Don’t get a certificate in another country because it won’t be credible anywhere else. But if you’re thinking about this, it’s better to look into WHERE you want to teach first and then see if that specific school/district accepts it.
If you want to teach in another country in a big city, the TESL certificate can give you a one up on the other Americans that have the same idea as you but who have no experience. If you want to teach in a small town, they usually don’t care what degrees you have because they’ll just be so happy to have an American.
But it’s also good because, even if you don’t necessarily NEED it to get the job, you’ll learn something, and then you’ll teach better.
4. Teaching in another country is difficult before it is easy. But after you have some time to build up your clientele, you can do really well. It has taken me about a year and a half to weed out the crappy schools and crappy students and have control over my schedule and reliable pay and all that. But you’ll have more freedom about teaching abroad because you can get the most money from private students.
I wrote some blog entries about my experiences teaching here in Brazil, and I think most of the things are true for most countries. Also, some people left comments comparing their experiences in other countries.
http://daniellebrazil.blogspot.com/2008/10/danielles-tips-for-teaching-english-in.html
I hope all that helps! Let me know if you have any questions.
Good luck!
Wow! THANK YOU SO MUCH for all the information here. Definitely a lot to think about…
And, hot damn, Brazil! Still never been there…what’s you guest policy? 🙂
About the Peace Prize thing… well, have you seen the polls lately? A fantasy election between W and Obama is within six points…
Fun times.
I’m glad at least it’s not Sarah Palin and Obama…
Yeah, just so you know… most of the polls have Obama’s overall approval rating in the mid-40s right now and the Rasmussen poll has, for the last month or so, had Obama’s ‘strongly approve’ rating in the mid-20s while his ‘strongly disaprove’ floats around in the mid to upper 40s. Outside of media portrayals the political climate on the street has shifted since you went on your trip months ago.
Interesting, indeed. Now, I just need to re-develop my interest in North American news…