ImageIf you know me at all (or at least e-know me a little, meaning maybe you’ve read this blog’s “About” page), then you know my full-time hustle is working as the head DC writer/editor for a growing media and marketing company named Scoutmob. I’ll give you a minute to familiarize yourself with it and download the sweet free smartphone app that’s guaranteed to make your life in DC (or in one of the other cities that we’ve launched in) at least a few iotas better.

OK, got it? Cool. Now, as I was saying, I write a lot for Scoutmob. Mostly it’s about dope people, places and things in and around DC, but once in a while, I get to go a little bit deeper on a subject that personally fascinates me and go full personal essay on it. Here’s one I really enjoyed writing last month that got some significant play around DC, namely, the Washington Post re-tweeted it for me and included it in a little “Best of the Week” type of round-up. I knew I liked those people. Anyway, here’s the piece:


It started with a text telling me to meet him at a popular intersection in a well known neighborhood. It wasn’t long after we exchanged hellos when he asked me to accompany him into a few dark alleys. But before you start thinking your Scoutmob editor moonlights as a call girl, let’s set this record straight: your Scoutmob editor is a bad ass who decided to go on patrol with a bike cop for a night. No sooner did we roll off into the dusk when a call came over the radio. “Oh, it’s just some naked guy approaching a car, I guess,” said the bike cop, who’s been on the job for some years now but has no desire to get fired so he shall remain anonymous. (DCPD has a “strange” media policy, apparently.)

We didn’t respond to the naked guy alert. It was too far away. “That kind of thing happens pretty often,” he said. “Probably PCP.” Plus, it was around the same time that another call came in. “Are you ready to punch it?” Bike Cop asked. “Oh, indeed,” I replied, channeling my best (which also happens to be the world’s worst) Omar from The Wire impression.

Of course, that’s about where my bravery and proclaimed bad-assedness ended. Being unarmed, I hung back while Bike Cop and other cops dealt with the just-radioed-in business. Something about a possible knife fight, I was later told…

To read the rest and view some photos of this fantastic misadventure, click here. And pass it on.