My name is Marissa. To the left is my glamour shot. (Opulence. I haz it.) And before this site became marissapayne.com, it was called Marissa’s Big Adventure, which began in 2010 when I decided to leave DC after having been here since May 2007 with a one-way ticket to South America in a one-woman quest to learn Spanish and travel. Four months and several hilarious blog entries later (which, you can still read on here, by the way), I returned. See, no matter what I try, I just can’t quit DC — I not-so-secretly love it here, it seems.

Which is why I’m pleased to be working at Scoutmob as the DC editor and lead writer. Via this position I get to use my love of writing, humor and possibly borderline creepy curiosity about everything to spread the word about all the non-wonk goodness that’s been steadily invading DC over the last few years, and more particularly over the last few months. Feel free to check us out, and if you’re so inclined (please be inclined!), add yourself to the DC mailing list. I’ll be writin’ those every day starting July 20, 2011.

BUT THAT’S NOT ALL! Well, it’s all I’ll say for now about Scoutmob, but it’s not all I’ll say about myself in this narcissistic “LOOK WHAT I CAN DO!” self-written bio. I also work freelance for the Geoffrey Diner Gallery, located just north of Dupont Circle here in Washington, DC. Buying art? Write me.

And finally, a few more things I do, because it seems I hate free time:

  • I blog on the reg, well, obviously, seeing as you’re all up in my blog right now. But did you know I also maintain a strictly-for-laughs site called The Anti DC (retired) The Anti Wedding? Boom.
  • I also Tumble, in the Tumblr sense, not the gymnastic kind. It’s all about my kitty cat, Humphrey, who I’m attempting to make the world’s first feline supermodel. Check him out at A Million Pictures of My Cat.
  • I’m a painter, which I haven’t done anything professionally with thus far, but if I don’t publicly show my work by the end of 2013, I will be extremely disappointed with my lack of ambition. So will my cat.
  • I’m working on my first novel. It’s going to make J.D. Salinger high-five me in the afterlife.
  • And last (and also least), I tweet pretty frequently, so don’t forget to follow me @marissapayne, where you’ll find my truncated thoughts on life’s highs, lows and food pictures.

Alas, we’ve come to the end of the bio (for now), but should you have any more questions, feel free to leave a comment below and I’ll have my assistant get back to you. Oh yeah, that reminds me—I have one more bullet point:

  • I’m also my own assistant.
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